"I wish I could fix it"

My children's birthmothers are never far from my mind. I didn't stop loving them the day they gave me their most precious gift. You could even say I have never stopped grieving with them. Yes, I am a mother now, but so are they in their hearts. They gave my babies life! And for that, I want to ALWAYS honor them!

I think of them when I am about to complain, when I am tired or reminisce of simpler times. I am quickly reminded of the cost that my children came. That my blessings came with a price. A price that I could never repay.

I received a phone call from L. last night. Yes, we have an open relationship with our birthmothers. She just needed to hear how everything was going and how Charlie was doing. So many think that this is just too hard on everyone, but I see it as such an easy request. After all, don't we all need to be reassured sometimes that we made the right choice? So I gave her an update and shared how well she is doing. That she should be so proud.

She wept.

Today I have had such a grieved heart about this. I wish I could take the pain away for her. She knows that. I have actually asked her, how I can best help her. But I have to remind myself, that I can't fix anything. My words, my comfort and my love will just leave her empty and desiring more. All I can offer her is the hope and love of our Wonderous Redeemer. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 And that our Lord has not left her that "He is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

I love that we have a God that cares when our hearts are heavy and saddened. That He wants the absolute best for us "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

L. is a wonderful woman and she is a wonderful mother. She always tells me she knows she made the best choice, but she has her difficult moments (I think we all do). In the last couple of years I feel like God is teaching me so much through these two birthmothers. Lessons I would have never learned if I was taught any other way. I have a lot to be thankful for.