Delayed Reactions

So Dave and I have been praying a lot about which direction we are going to pursue to build our family again. We know we will adopt again and we are now confident with the route we will be pursing. I will save that for another post. But as Dave and I move forward, I finally started to really ache for our loss. I know our family will be ok. God willing, we have our family, we will continue to grow it, we love the Lord and our life will continue on. But knowing this, is what triggered my hurt for the loss of Alaura.

I think with the past month going by and us readjusting, I had a weight lifted off my shoulders. But as Dave and I have talked about adopting again my heart just ached for Alaura. I grieve for her unknown future. The lack of hope she has everyday. We will go on, but she will remain without family and the sense of being wanted. As upset as she could make me, I just keep remembering that underneath it all, she was just a little girl with a broken heart. And that just breaks my heart.

So last week I decided to contact her. I just needed her to know she is loved and being prayed for. That she is not forgotten. I just needed her to know she did make an impact and that we do believe in her. But most importantly God loves her and loves her more than anyone else could. That He so desires a relationship with her and that He will never fail her. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8.

We now have open communication and we can chat back and forth. I have received some closure but it is so cool that God has not closed doors, but just opened a new one. I am still praying for God to direct this relationship, but I am sure He is not done!! Alaura, may not live with us anymore, but I am 100% sure that she has not left our lives! Our God is a God of restoration and He continues to amaze me!