Our first step in this process...

I thought it would be fun to show you some of our paperwork that we hand in as we proceed with the Adoption Center of San Diego. Normally paperwork is not fun, but we thoroughly enjoy it! Every facilitator and agency is different, but this is what is required of us.

Here is our Dear Birthmother letter. This is what is given to a woman that is wanting to place her baby for adoption. She picks which family she would like to raise her baby. This gives her the opportunity to pick a family that she likes and shares similar values to her. Now you can see that their is no waiting list, it is strictly when you are picked by a birth mother or birth family. So their is no specific wait time, it is when God says it is time.




Here is all of our paperwork before we packaged it up. Our life is written out on all of these pages. :) Now it is nicely tucked away in the mail!! Whooo Hooo!

Charlie's Adoption is almost finalized!! Almost!

Our final payment and paperwork for Charlie's adoption is done and in the mail!! Now we wait for our court finalization date!! Whoooo Hooo

Adoption...moving forward!

The day I drove Alaura to meet her new foster mom, I actually spoke to our previous adoption facilitator, Sarah from the Adoption Center of San Diego. That day I was so numb and filled with anxiety because I knew we were about to lose Alaura. However, speaking with Sarah, left me with so much peace and an element of excitement in the back of my mind. I told Dave it felt as if God gave me a little nugget to hold onto that day, to help alleviate the pain that was involved in it.

From that phone call on, Dave and I prayed about where God wanted us to move. We still knew we were going to adopt again, but we didn't necessarily believe it was through the foster-care system. We have been disheartened and have desperately missing the process of independent adoption. So a month has come and gone and we have continued to pray. Waiting to see where God directs us.

As Dave and I have prayed, I have reflected on some of my old posts about 100% trusting that God will provide. I continue to be amazed that we have been able to do one adoption, and then a 2nd and now to even be thinking about a 3rd!! I am just in awe! But as much as I didn't think it was possible to do a 3rd independent adoption, I just had to ask, "Lord do I trust you with everything?". My answer has to be yes!If I trust Him with my salvation, I have to trust Him with all of the details too. It brings me to the verse, "Everything in the heavens and earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as being in control of everything. Riches and honor come from you alone, and you are the Ruler of all mankind; your hand controls power and might and it is at your discretion that men are made great and given strength" -1 Chronicles 29-11-12

To be truthful, Dave and I have known for a few weeks that we were pursuing independent adoption again, but we just had to figure out how God wanted us to address obstacles that we had not been preparing for. However, we remain licensed foster/adoption home. For the last year, we have been dedicated to adoption through foster-care. But today, as we stepped out in faith, God showed up big time!! I literally was jumping in the living room thanking God! It is amazing to pray and just wait for God to answer back. We still have along way to go, but we know God will continue to provide.

Our paperwork is finished, our Dear Birthmother letter is written and our first check written. We are back in the game and now we wait to be chosen again by a woman who desires to place her baby for adoption. It could be today, it could be next year. But in all of it, we know God already knows! We couldn't be more excited!

Delayed Reactions

So Dave and I have been praying a lot about which direction we are going to pursue to build our family again. We know we will adopt again and we are now confident with the route we will be pursing. I will save that for another post. But as Dave and I move forward, I finally started to really ache for our loss. I know our family will be ok. God willing, we have our family, we will continue to grow it, we love the Lord and our life will continue on. But knowing this, is what triggered my hurt for the loss of Alaura.

I think with the past month going by and us readjusting, I had a weight lifted off my shoulders. But as Dave and I have talked about adopting again my heart just ached for Alaura. I grieve for her unknown future. The lack of hope she has everyday. We will go on, but she will remain without family and the sense of being wanted. As upset as she could make me, I just keep remembering that underneath it all, she was just a little girl with a broken heart. And that just breaks my heart.

So last week I decided to contact her. I just needed her to know she is loved and being prayed for. That she is not forgotten. I just needed her to know she did make an impact and that we do believe in her. But most importantly God loves her and loves her more than anyone else could. That He so desires a relationship with her and that He will never fail her. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8.

We now have open communication and we can chat back and forth. I have received some closure but it is so cool that God has not closed doors, but just opened a new one. I am still praying for God to direct this relationship, but I am sure He is not done!! Alaura, may not live with us anymore, but I am 100% sure that she has not left our lives! Our God is a God of restoration and He continues to amaze me!